I didn’t know what I meant to you.
I didn’t know my influence.
With your consent, I used you to feed my demons.
The greatest sin in all this is leaving you for years in between sessions knowing full well the impact such a void would leave on an already broken impressionable heart.
To my first subs, I Apologize.
I apologize for leaving you how my first abusers left me after relieving themselves, thus perpetuating the cycle of emotional/psychological manipulation thru sexual abuse.
In this walk of B.D.S.M there’s a fine line between predator & prey.
To be as close to “fair” as humanly possible, your innocence.. yearning for acceptance & mothering made you the perfect prey. In retrospect I would in turn become your beloved predator.

 

Slow deep & controlled, her eyes gloss, a single tear falls as she smirks, open hand face smack, grip tight once more as i shove my tongue so deep i graze her tonsils, wrist twists, she grinds. FULL STOP.
*tilts head*
Have i given you permission to fuck me back, YET?! A moment of fear wrapped in arousal overcomes her. She knows her Domme isnt pleased. Her cum she attempts to hold. Dopamine, floods as her cheeks turn from pink to  flusterered ruby.. BITCH BREATHE! Wrist twists, she shakes..
**tilts head, She snarls**
You want me to own you, me? One who has yet to take claim of her own divinity by birthright. You lay there, yielding your all to me.. her? In this moment i wonder who’s really in “control” here?

Untwist.. losing my grip, “dont let her see your human Dragonfly.. she won’t respect you if you do. Stay present like that shit you preach in them yoga classes & social media posts.. Demons taunt..”

Internal Conflict Ceases..

“Your tears will go great as seasoning in my spaghetti sauce!! She licks..”

.

For the last year I have observed both the rise & demise of “seemingly powerful” unions of the aware community community. Unions that were once financially lucrative while spiritually comatose. Crumbling because their foundations were built on trauma but was never addressed properly.  Ive observed abuse of power by D-types & for lack of better words, I was appalled. Even moreso the out of pocket nature of subs is just.. It reflects poorly on their D’s leadership abilities. So I wrote this piece as both the observer & active participant in the fuckery. I Am no better or worse than those who abuse their authority as Dominant. But I will say this, If at any point I feel myself being pushed beyond what I’m emotionally or psychologically equipped to handle from a respectful but firm standpoint, I will remove myself from the sub’s grasp completely. As I teach my students from the first day on the mat, as well as my potential Intimacy Surrogate partners, Self Preservation Is the first & most imporant law of Nature. And believe you me, I Will leave you alone cold turkey if it means my freedom, sanity, or livelihood is at stake, PERIOD. Decorum, consent, respect are all #1 under my leadership & are non-negotiable. Everything else is negotiable. Furthermore, I require Balance & Moderation in ALL things I touch especially MY subs in training..

Benediction..

Its kind of strange being a medium whose entire essence is built on one foot being planted firmly in the physically while the other simultaneously dances with the deceased. And as we enter the season of death by Scorpion, the Reaper within rises. Scythe sharpened & greased ready to harvest that which she’s worked all year to reap the benefits of. She’s ready to collect without apology.

She’s been here before. Year after year, prey after prey the colder she grows but on the contrary her heart warms. Not for those outside but the compassion she has for her own perceived demons is what keeps the proverbial fire burning within..

The Repass.

To the subs I Am vetting & those yearning to be of Service to me let’s get a few things understood..

The title of being your Mother-Domme, does not come lightly. If I choose to take you in as my sub, it’s imperative that you understand the intensity that comes with this. Everything about your current state has to change. Yoga will become part of your daily ritual along with meditation. Journaling is mandatory. Your diet will change. Shit, Your entire paradigm will shift. And as I write this I realize I’m actually speaking to myself.. So Self/sub, Now that you’ve kissed her forehead, watched Her sleep, spoke peace to His soul, made sweet blasphemous love to AND with His demons, punished Her by making her yield at your feet for hours after throwing tantrums publicly, now what? The responsibility that comes with Ownership/submission/surrender, take inventory of your past discretions. Consult the spirits, vet longer, spin around 3x’s, curse the sky, claw your breats, shave your dreds, pierce your skin, mutilate your skin with another 13 tatts, invoke more demons, drive to 48 more states, take a flight to cleanse your “sins,” fast for 40days, detox for 20 more all with hopes to feel pure & Wholy again, then what??

Law of polarity states that everything has a dual nature, and although two extremes may LOOK like opposites they/we are inseperable. Domme to Sub, Mommy/Daddy to Bbg/Bby, Predator to Prey, Supply to Demand, Fight/Flight or Freeze. The choice has already been made. We became one at Y/our conception. I hope to one day Welcome you to the initiation process into Our House of the Dragonfly, via leash & collar..  Nothing will ever be the same.. The Law of Cause & Effect deems it so. There’s your warning.