Monthly Archives: July 2016

Clarity, Healing, Mental Health, Trauma

Is you conscious or is you woke? I’m just asking…

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dear-abby

Dear Dragonfly, Why don’t YOU focus on sexual abuse awareness and prevention the way YOU used too when you first started blogging?! Well, to be quite honest, It was draining. I started losing myself in other folks neglect of their children. I started to try and “save” folks when its not MY job.. I had to come to a place of accepting that their battle is not MINE.. Yes, we have similar scars, similar weaponry.. enemy had the same skin color, but the “battle?” Nah, its their own.. and vice versa.. Shit I’m just here to assist by being an example, through the documentation of my OWN journey back to wholeness. ‪#‎selfPreservation #saviorComplex ‬

So my question to YOU, dear innocent bystander, is this…

Why don’t YOU speak on sexual abuse, the way you talk about these supreme ass white folks that wont GIVE YOU NO JOB, huh? Why don’t YOU share facts/memes about sexual abuse of black boys and girls the way you share footage of blacks being gunned down by scary ass SUPREME white folks…the way YOU share photos of our ancestors being hung from trees.. the way YOU talk about gay agendas.. the way you talk about aint no good men/women.. the way YOU talk about sports.. the way YOU drag religious folks… I’m just asking…

conscious or woke

 

Now, we don’t ALL know somebody that’s been hung from a tree, killed, or denied a job from some “supreme” entity…. but according to the stats http://newsone.com/1680915/half-of-black-girls-sexually-assaulted/ 60% black females (and males, from the perspective of duality, as above so below, as within so without) will have been sexually assaulted by the age of 18… 60% of little black girls and 60% little black boys (separately but equally) have ALREADY been sexually abused/assaulted by their 18th birthday… SIX OUT OF TEN!!! 60/100 Black children… and in majority of these cases, guess what?? The perpetrator is another BLACK FEMALE OR BLACK MALE.. And 9/10, they are family &/or family acquaintance i.e someone the child’s family knows…From these statistics alone, you either ARE either 6/10 OR you’ve loved someone who’s apart of the 60%.. #introspection

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Hmph, so why don’t i spread the gospel about prevention and AWARENESS regarding sexual abuse in the black community the way I “used too” anymore? Oh yall are most definitely aware, matter of fact you’ve BEEN aware for generations, actually.. Yall just don’t [wanna] hear these babies when they’re telling you the truth tho. Too busy stuntin on your rivals just to show and prove you got somebody that comes home to you EVERY night. Knowing damn well they not coming home for you… They’re coming “home” because you’re knowingly, willingly sacrificing your own babies just to say you got somebody… Yea, I see you. ‪#‎pickYourBattles‬ ‪#‎scapegoatSociety‬ ‪#‎AsAboveSoBelow‬ ‪#‎rugSweepers‬ ‪#‎theDragonflyAffect‬

Is you conscious or is you awake? I’m just asking… ‪#‎enemyWithinOrWithout‬ ‪#‎stopDeflecting

 

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Aint enough bleach in the world that can wash THIS amount of blood off your generational hands my “consciously aware” community.. Might as well face yourselves and bathe in it… There’s no “we before EYE” on this journey to recovery. The sooner you comprehend this the better. Self preservation is the ONLY law. Save yourselves first, or drown with the rest of the ship. #noIceberg With peace & chaos, Thank you for reading. –T. D Hooks

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Healing, Mental Health, Trauma

The Eulogy: Here lies the Ni*ga Man & those that enable him… Amen.

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Disclaimer: Self-Preservation is Law. In order to preserve the self, I had to symbolically kill the “nigga man apologist” within. He’s been laid up on my proverbial couch, eating all my kids cereal, using up all the high speed data, making other nigga-men moor “sovereign” off MY dime 7years too long now. My 11year sun old is now 18. Gone off to college doing something with his life while you, the nigga-man, sell dreams to other women behind my back because you intuitively feel when a FEMALE is up to something… After all this time, NOW you feel me huh? What am I up too you ask? Hmph…

Call Tyrone

 

Dear Black Man, (not to be confused with the nigga-man above)

 

I know you don’t know me, but ive heard a lot about you. Read stories about your type. Dreamed of what its like to have you come home to me, the children, the dog, our home, after running successful businesses a couple days a week, but ive been wondering why don’t you see me? And I figured it out today. See a black MAN isn’t attracted to little girls, Be it in females under 18 OR over 25, only the “nigga-minded male,” is attracted to “little girls.”  And for the last 20years, regardless of the age/wage gap, this is the only type of “man” that seems to approach me. I mean, it makes sense because Continue reading The Eulogy: Here lies the Ni*ga Man & those that enable him… Amen. →

Clarity, Healing, Mental Health, Trauma

Dear Angry black woman, Im tired of yall… I mean, Us.

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Been spending time with the maternal grandmother in Texas just as I did as a youth. True enough i’m here on business but on a personal  note, this is turning into one big ass case study of self… Let me explain.

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“Fourth of July weekend, 2016 here I am 4 days away from completing truck driver school #somewhereintexas and of course, being the perfectionist I Am, I strain my clutching knee. As divine timing and “Gawd’s favor” would have it, it’s a 3-day weekend. So im like cool!! Im going home to Grandma’s house so she can love on me, wrap my knee, give me some GOOD pain meds, FILL MY BELLY (yes, lordt) you know, nurture me, so ill be back in tip top shape  just in time for class come Tuesday morning!!! #anticipation

 

Yay grandma 

 

140+ miles later I arrive at Grandma’s house… Limping from that hard-body ’95 Nissan truck (no hammers) to the front door, 3 trips to be exact in 103 degree TEXAS heat, mind you.. Open the door, cool crisp central air blasts me in the face. I inhale deeply.. I exhale a sigh of relief.. Until my eyes connect with my makeshift bed er umm couch. **the let down** Mind you ive already briefed Granny on the prior week’s challenges ya know the usual male chauvinistic, sexist, misogynist culture that is the trucking/automotive industry to which im no stranger to. Ive been working in said industry since 2006 so trust me, my skin is thick. However, this situation differs as ive never lived amongst those I worked with. College dorm sleeping, classroom style and OMG has it been an eye opener… Now week one of this 3week Class A intensive was the “welcoming” while week 2 was the initiation. I wont go into specifics but lets just say I would be just fine if I never hear the words “Yall females are taking all of OUR jobs” again in my life. See what that particular guy didn’t understand is that I too am a misogynist, CORRECTION: An internalized misogynist (thanks feminist chick.. there’s the bright side to your shady hearted antics) and didn’t fully comprehend why until I came “home” for the weekend. See, last week I kept trying to avoid this guy but he kept parking near me. Just had to say SOMETHING to me ya know? Just a pestilent little shit I couldn’t get away from. Then, it comes to me, like an epiphany…. He is my reflection!!! My own got damned shadow-self .

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According to Wikipedia Shadow-Self means: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_(psychology)  Now when I say shadow-self I mean those parts of us that continue rearing its ugly head no matter how many yoga challenges we participate in, how many yoni steams or digestive system detoxes we perform, no matter how much chamomile tea and nag champa incense we burn, that darkside, that shadow just keeps on nagging at your inner peace like that one neighbor we ALL know who will STILL be bussin cannon-style fireworks randomly between the hours of 10:57p.m and 3:13am for the next 2-3 weeks… So, I had 2 choices. Either make friends with this bully, get to the root of why he doesn’t like women imposing on “his” territory, show him im different, you know cater to his egoic persona while stroking my own OR curse this dude (who is also a projection of myself, follow me now) out so bad he never blinks my away again let alone makes another snide remark.. OUTCOME: I did both not only did I make friends with my darkside i physically cursed him smooth out. Banished his ass like a bad spirit who cant accept its no longer in this physical realm!!!! Ghostbuster style… And man did it feel good!!! All that shy, passive shit flew right out the door. I had taken my last blow from misogyny.. or so I thought. Continue reading Dear Angry black woman, Im tired of yall… I mean, Us. →