Tag Archives: polyamory

Growing Pains of a Holistic Domme

 

I didn’t know what I meant to you.
I didn’t know my influence.
With your consent, I used you to feed my demons.
The greatest sin in all this is leaving you for years in between sessions knowing full well the impact such a void would leave on an already broken impressionable heart.
To my first subs, I Apologize.
I apologize for leaving you how my first abusers left me after relieving themselves, thus perpetuating the cycle of emotional/psychological manipulation thru sexual abuse.
In this walk of B.D.S.M there’s a fine line between predator & prey.
To be as close to “fair” as humanly possible, your innocence.. yearning for acceptance & mothering made you the perfect prey. In retrospect I would in turn become your beloved predator.
The Lair.. Mantling the Human

 

 

Like the Owl mantling it’s prey, I would shield you. With our Egoic Death imminently approaching.. As the grip tightens around your dainty throat, each breath more shallow than the next, lips loosen, more fingers your orifice(s) receives.. next breath, wrist twist, whole hand engulfed in your seas, Fully received, voice squeals, I loosen my grip long enough to permit air in your lungs, intently glaring into glossy eyes I COMMAND thee, “BITCH BREATHE!”

Breath Play/Asphyxiation
Slow deep & controlled, her eyes gloss, a single tear falls as she smirks, open hand face smack, grip tight once more as i shove my tongue so deep i graze her tonsils, wrist twists, she grinds. FULL STOP.
*tilts head*
Have i given you permission to fuck me back, YET?! A moment of fear wrapped in arousal overcomes her. She knows her Domme isnt pleased. Her cum she attempts to hold. Dopamine, floods as her cheeks turn from pink to  flusterered ruby.. BITCH BREATHE! Wrist twists, she shakes..
**tilts head, She snarls**
You want me to own you, me? One who has yet to take claim of her own divinity by birthright. You lay there, yielding your all to me.. her? In this moment i wonder who’s really in “control” here?
D/s (Dominant/Domme [Feminine Dominant] during a scence or B.D.S.M Play) Lower cased letter denotes status in relationship or hierarchical dynamic. Dominant/submissive (D/s), Master/slave (M/s) etc
Untwist.. losing my grip, “dont let her see your human Dragonfly.. she won’t respect you if you do. Stay present like that shit you preach in them yoga classes & social media posts.. Demons taunt..”
Internal Conflict Ceases..
“Your tears will go great as seasoning in my spaghetti sauce!! She licks..”
.

For the last year I have observed both the rise & demise of “seemingly powerful” unions of the aware community community. Unions that were once financially lucrative while spiritually comatose. Crumbling because their foundations were built on trauma but was never addressed properly.  Ive observed abuse of power by D-types & for lack of better words, I was appalled. Even moreso the out of pocket nature of subs is just.. It reflects poorly on their D’s leadership abilities. So I wrote this piece as both the observer & active participant in the fuckery. I Am no better or worse than those who abuse their authority as Dominant. But I will say this, If at any point I feel myself being pushed beyond what I’m emotionally or psychologically equipped to handle from a respectful but firm standpoint, I will remove myself from the sub’s grasp completely. As I teach my students from the first day on the mat, as well as my potential Intimacy Surrogate partners, Self Preservation Is the first & most imporant law of Nature. And believe you me, I Will leave you alone cold turkey if it means my freedom, sanity, or livelihood is at stake, PERIOD. Decorum, consent, respect are all #1 under my leadership & are non-negotiable. Everything else is negotiable. Furthermore, I require Balance & Moderation in ALL things I touch especially MY subs in training..

Find Your Center…
Benediction..
Its kind of strange being a medium whose entire essence is built on one foot being planted firmly in the physically while the other simultaneously dances with the deceased. And as we enter the season of death by Scorpion, the Reaper within rises. Scythe sharpened & greased ready to harvest that which she’s worked all year to reap the benefits of. She’s ready to collect without apology.
Don’t Fear the Reaper babygirl/boy within….
She’s been here before. Year after year, prey after prey the colder she grows but on the contrary her heart warms. Not for those outside but the compassion she has for her own perceived demons is what keeps the proverbial fire burning within..

Continue reading Growing Pains of a Holistic Domme

The Eulogy: Here lies the Ni*ga Man & those that enable him… Amen.

Disclaimer: Self-Preservation is Law. In order to preserve the self, I had to symbolically kill the “nigga man apologist” within. He’s been laid up on my proverbial couch, eating all my kids cereal, using up all the high speed data, making other nigga-men moor “sovereign” off MY dime 7years too long now. My 11year sun old is now 18. Gone off to college doing something with his life while you, the nigga-man, sell dreams to other women behind my back because you intuitively feel when a FEMALE is up to something… After all this time, NOW you feel me huh? What am I up too you ask? Hmph…

Call Tyrone

 

Dear Black Man, (not to be confused with the nigga-man above)

 

I know you don’t know me, but ive heard a lot about you. Read stories about your type. Dreamed of what its like to have you come home to me, the children, the dog, our home, after running successful businesses a couple days a week, but ive been wondering why don’t you see me? And I figured it out today. See a black MAN isn’t attracted to little girls, Be it in females under 18 OR over 25, only the “nigga-minded male,” is attracted to “little girls.”  And for the last 20years, regardless of the age/wage gap, this is the only type of “man” that seems to approach me. I mean, it makes sense because Continue reading The Eulogy: Here lies the Ni*ga Man & those that enable him… Amen.