Category Archives: Trauma

How To become a Predator…

I was the new girl in town…Again!!

(Freshly raped and passed around at least twice by my two older male step-cousins, prior to being uprooted then transplanted in this same old weird paper-mill smelling town during my 7th grade school year) Except this time, it was for good.. The suicide attempt bought me a good year of freedom back in the safety and nurturing arms of my great grandmother back in my hometown but I just couldn’t seem to get right. Age 10, Still reeling from a traumatic loss of the one stable father figure I’d been blessed since my then teenaged parents proved to be incompetent, the depression teamed with hyper stimulated genitalia was becoming too much for my grieving great grandmother to bare… I would eventually end up rotating between one relative to the next. I cant remember exactly what happened that got me to this point, yet Here I am, the new girl once again…

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Sitting in Ms. O’s typing class, in front of me he sits. Braids to the back, toffee colored skin, cover-all jeans creased to the 9, gangsta Nike’s, basketball hoopin, nice flows, project living, all his brothers and sisters had different daddies but HE was the oldest.. I still remember his adams apple, the veins in his arms… On the outside he reminded me of my father. Except he wasn’t 6feet tall and black as midnight but he definitely fit his “thuggish” exterior.. I just KNEW he was gonna take me down through there.. As I sat on the backrow.. quiet as kept.. Never even giving him as much of a good morning… I observed him.. his mannerisms.. how he sharpened his pencil.. how he would make it a POINT to strut across the floor just to shoot paper in the trashcan like he was Jordan or somebody.. “What a show off,” I thought to myself.. As he sat down, a breeze would swoop past my nose and every damn time, i breathed him in.. Adiddas cologne to be exact.. Continue reading How To become a Predator…

Child Sexual Abuse in the Black Community… Subjective Mind over the matter…

Child Rape and Incest… Our Little ‘BIG’ Secrets…

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Child rape & Incest within the black community is a bigger HEALTH CRISIS than AIDS, heart disease, hypertension and ALL cancers combined… How did I come to this conclusion when  NOBODY dares to even talk about it, yet it has a domino effect on EVERYBODY..  Contrary to what most of Us would like to believe, this “behavior” doesn’t just happen to little black girls by their drunk step father’s or some RANDOM dude in a spooky van circling playgrounds when the streetlights are coming on.. This is happening to little boys as well.. Continue reading Child Sexual Abuse in the Black Community… Subjective Mind over the matter…

Intro to Dragonfly….

The Dragonfly Affect….

By: T.D Hooks 

 

It all made sense last night. Why my brothers and sisters (skin-folk) molested me. Why my brothers (skin-folk) raped me…  Spread rumors of how their “CONQUEST” enjoyed it.. The shredding of her hymen.. The terror oops I mean LUST in her eyes..  The smile i painted on when returning home later that evening.. The self-preserving smile I was “self-taught” to display to hide the shame of no longer being a Virgin… the guilt of under-age drinking that sweet Peach Boone’s Farm.. Hanging & watching adult movies with 16yr old teenaged male step-cousins & step-sisters… the pain radiating between my thighs yet trying with all my might to not LOOK broken.. The fight to keep my head held high at school.. the fight to remain “focused” on the positives in life.. The physical fight I CHOSE (fight, flight, or freeze) to not put up being (what I perceived to be) that I was both physically out-matched, out witted and outnumbered… I froze.  The mantra that states this too shall pass… the law of detachment (from the physical body/realm).. Yep, at the tender age of 11, Young Dragonfly began to master the art of “faking it” for the next 15+ years of her life… That day I accepted that my body no longer belonged to me… Continue reading Intro to Dragonfly….